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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?